Today...

It's been a hard day. Ethan's lungs are actually sounding worse and he is just not perking up. This is the second day we've had of him just sleeping all day. They are now sucking out his nose every 4 hours which is so miserable for him- they have to stick a small catheter down his nose and pull out all the gunk inside of it- it's like a small vacuum. The chest xrays this morning showed that he has a spot on his right lung that has sunk in because he can't take deep enough breaths and get up and be active. I just got off the phone with the doctor and they are going to put in a feeding tube down his nose because he hasn't eaten anything, besides small nibbles, since Friday night. He said that it's bad to put in and will bother him while in and he might try to yank it out, or will just throw up the nutrients that are fed to him. We have to try anything that will work though because until he feels better he isn't going to care enough about eating or drinking to do anything about it.

I have no idea when we're coming home at this point. I'm not quite sure where home is. Life has been so crazy with the move, Christmas, and now this that I've forgotten what a regular routine is. I know I have this house waiting for me but it just feels like somewhere I'm staying. Then I realize that I haven't thought about Aidan in a while and wonder what he is doing and if he is having a good day. It's only been a few days but its been enough for us to feel displaced from each other. I worry about him and hope that he is getting the attention he needs.

Please keep Ethan in your prayers. I know that he is just really sick and that we just have to keep pushing through while the virus runs its course. We have really felt Heavenly Father's hand in helping us to feel peace and I know that he is going to be ok. I'm so sad to see by baby hurt like this. I hope that we can see some improvement soon.