Meadow

We were able to escape with my family down to my sister-in-law's (Juli) family house, in Meadow, in March for a much needed relaxing weekend. We did this last year and I have really loved it. There is nothing to do but sleep, relax, play outside, eat, watch movies and then start all over again.









Despite the look on his face, Ethan was having a lot of fun on the playground. I love his hair in this picture.

My heart

Aidan (who is sitting at the table, listening to the whistling sound the straw in his sippy cup is making) pulls his ear away from his head and says: "Do you hear the ocean in here?" (Like in the shells)

Me (after putting my ear up next to his so our heads are touching side by side): "No, I don't hear the ocean. All I hear is 'I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom. I love you mom.' "

Aidan (pulls away to look at me): "No mom, that's my heart."


I can't even begin to express the good that has done for my heart.

House pictures

We've been busy working on this house since before we even moved in and we're finally starting to wrap up a few projects. When we moved in the previous owner had repainted the whole house white and put in new carpet so we had a pretty fresh palate to start with. The kitchen was pretty dated so that was first on our list and I'm really happy with how its turning out. Thanks to Brett and my wonderful family and friends we've been able to get some work done. I have to send a special shout out to my brother Joseph. He's become my own personal handyman (or so I like to call him) and has been at the house working and working and working to get it done. I've started missing him keeping me company during the day now that we're not doing much. We couldn't have done it without him. He even fixed the one remodel we weren't expecting- the bathroom pipes leaking onto our kitchen ceiling and us having to cut a pretty large square out to fix the pipes and replace it. We couldn't have done it (or afforded it) without his help. We love you, Joseph! There is still SO much to do but I finally feel like its becoming ours! Now the fun part comes... Decorating!

We forgot to take before pictures but remembered before we were in too deep. Sorry for the poor quality- cell phones. The kitchen cabinets were oak before and Anson and Julia were a huge help in painting them.




Here's the finished project for now. We painted the walls and cabinets, put the knobs on, bought and put together a cute pantry/cabinet from Ikea for more cupboard space, and put up the beadboard and trim. We had plans to replace the countertops right away (not loving the plain white) but that's going to have to wait a little longer. Plus now we're really not loving our floor next to the beadboard (not that we loved it in the first place) so we might replace the floors first. For now we bought the rug and that helps to warm it up a little.



New rug


We painted the entry way and living room (I'm loving my green wall) and then ran out of paint and time for the family room so that will get done here in the next couple weeks. We haven't done much decorating but I'm amazed at how much painting made a difference. I was so tired of white walls!


I love my new pillows!


Hope that satisfies the itch some of you had to see the house! We'll post more as more gets done!

I'm Back!

While I wish that I wasn't currently holding the title for world's worst blogger I have to admit that life has seemed to have knocked me down on my butt the past couple months. I can sum it up by saying its been an incredibly difficult winter and every day I'm looking forward to that hint of spring that I know is soon to come. The past few weeks have seen some brighter sides, though, and I'm happy to be coming around to some version of myself again. Life has been full with taking care of Ethan, many doctors visits (we just hit a record of not having to take him in for 3 weeks- before that we were going every week to 10 days), long Saturdays working on the house, and festival/recital season with piano lessons. I had 2 students cry at the piano this week- everyone is just worn out. By Thursday I started to think I should just put a box of tissues on the piano. Thank goodness after tomorrow is over, (I have to judge piano festival for 7 1/2 hours), with the exception of a couple days I have the next 2 weeks off. I can't begin to express how much this break is needed!

I just finished my 2nd week of my new step aerobics class and I'm loving it! Problem is waking up at 5:00 am to get to Salem by 5:30 am but so far I'm doing well and so happy to actually be exercising. I got back on Weight Watchers again this week and am hoping to see some progress before Anson's wedding in April. Regardless, it feels so good to finally be doing something rather than just wishing I was doing something. Hopefully I'll get used to this early morning thing soon.

Ethan has obviously had a very rough winter and I'm really hoping that he will do better now that the warmer weather is coming. I worry constantly about him and am glad that he has managed to pull through these latest 3 weeks of being sick without any major incidence. I actually was able to take him in this week for a well-child visit (2 months late) and his lungs were actually clear. I hope it will last for a little bit. I'm sad to say that I took the plunge and cut his hair. I'm not happy about it, but its good to see his beautiful eyes again. It was always in his face and since the poor child is always sick, he was getting boogers in his hair. Gross. It was time to go. Here are some before pictures and I haven't really taken an after picture, but you'll get a kick out of the 3rd picture anyways:

Just waking up from a nap so its all over the place:




Sorry for the small size- we just have a cell phone picture of this- I can't get over how funny he is. He found Ethan's vampire teeth and had a great time sneaking up on us to say "BOO!"



Last weekend my mom, Juli, and I all threw a shower for our new sister Julia. Anson and her are getting married on Easter Saturday and we're thrilled to have her join the family. The shower turned out really nice and the best part was that Jordan flew in with my darling niece Lauren and we got to have her join our girls weekend! Friday night we had a girls night of shopping and dinner and then after the shower on Saturday we went up to Midway to see and cuddle my cousin Sarah's new baby girl. We finished the night with all the family at my house and pizza. It was a really fun weekend- I love spending time with my family, especially when Jordan can be here with us.

Our side of the family at the shower


The sisters: Jordan, me, Julianna, and Julia


Baby girl Lauren- she looks just like Jordan did. I cannot get enough of her!


We're actually starting to finish some projects on the house that have been in the works since before we moved in, so I'll post some pictures soon (I promise it won't take another 2 months!)

We're Home!

Finally! It has been such a long week. We are so happy to be home- the bad news is I got the stomach flu Friday night in the hospital so I've been in bed since we got home. Thankfully, its MY bed. Ethan is doing so much better. Thursday was kind of a strange day. He perked up enough the whole day to just complain. Not to mention I was so wiped out that I went from being sad and resigned to just plain crabby. That night around 7:00 we took him off his oxygen just to see how long he could last. I went to bed around 9:00 and when the respiratory therapist woke me up in the middle of the night I asked how long he had lasted without the oxygen and they said he still wasn't on it! His lungs sounded really good also so they didn't have to wake him up to suck out his nose. We ended up not putting him back on the oxygen again. The doctor came that morning and was thrilled about that, and was encouraged by him wanting to play and be awake and eat some so they unplugged him from all his monitors and said we'd see how he did. They only stopped his i.v. but left it in his arm in case we had to put it back in and later that morning we noticed that his vein had rejected it again so they had to take it out. We really felt the pressure then because we didn't want to put it back in a 3rd time but he did so well all day Friday. He ate all his meals, drank so much better than he had been, kept his oxygen up and was happy all day long. I can't even describe what that day did for my heart. We had such a good day and even felt relaxed enough to watch a movie in the room that night. Then I was up all night with a horribly upset stomach and Saturday morning when the Dr. came in I was laying on the bed with the plastic water/soap tub (was my emergency barf bowel) on top of my head he told us we could go home! How on earth do you get sick when you're in a sterile hospital?! Must have been the food. Anyways, I'm feeling a little better this morning and am just so glad to be home with all of us together. We laid in bed all morning and just played with Ethan. He looks pale and worn out but is doing so well. We've upped his medications and will have a follow up with the Dr. on Tuesday.

Now, how do I resist the urge to put this little man in a plastic bubble and not let him out for the rest of the winter? RSV peak season isn't even for 2 more months and knowing what I know now, you can't blame me for being terrified that we aren't through the winter yet. It has made our daily asthma routine seem so simple. Our Dr. explained to me that Ethan is just in that 1% of kids that really struggles with this. We already knew how devastating a cold is for him- that was our hospital stay last year. Seeing what a more serious virus can do makes it all the more scary. We'll definitely be taking more precautions now, but I also know that we have to live our lives and enjoy our good health when we have it. I don't know what is in store for Ethan and how long he will struggle with this, but I'm so grateful for our wonderful doctor and the excellent nurses and staff that took such good care of us. I'm so glad that we have a doctor we can really trust and rely on to not only have Ethan's best interest in mind but to also care about him and our family.

I know I already said it, but I can't even describe how much you have all been a help this week. For all of your kind notes of encouragement and offers for help, for visits and phone calls, for food and flowers and balloons, for parenting my sweet Aidan when we couldn't do it ourselves...the list goes on and on. I am so grateful for such wonderful family and friends and the love and support that is always present in our lives. Because I can't help but be suspicious that this may not be the last time this happens, it helps more than you can know to know I have that strength on my side. I'm also so grateful for the priesthood in my home and for the strength it has given all of us this week. I am grateful for the peace that I can draw on from my prayers and the numerous blessings that have been given. I know that Heavenly Father is aware of us and our struggles and while He may not take them away,
He will help us get through them.

Well, now that I've written a book, here's a few more pictures from the hospital-

This was taken after not seeing Aidan for almost 3 days. I love how Ethan is cuddling him.

Some quiet time with Dad

They finally let us take him out for a walk in this cute wagon on Wednesday. He really enjoyed being out of the room and didn't want to come back. His poor eyes still look so sick in these pictures.


Finally some fun time! Balloons with Dad...

Bubbles with Grandma...


These were taken on Friday when he was finally unattached and free to walk around. He kind of looks like a little Yoda with his too long gown.

This picture didn't turn out very well, but how cute is the little diaper butt?

He started saying a lot of new words in the hospital, towards the end of the week- this is him saying "cheese!" for the camera.

A much needed hug for mom

Trust me... when he didn't eat for almost 5 days, we weren't picky with his food choices, even if it meant a giant piece of chocolate cake. :)


By the way, for those of you who don't see Ethan on a regular basis- I know! His hair is SO long. But... we love it and its beautiful so we're keeping it that way for now. :) I'm getting a little tired of the girl comments, though, but I'll keep correcting people for as long as I need to. :)

Day 6...

Well, we're going on day 6 here. I'm up and ready for the day early- I couldn't get back to sleep after they sucked him out and did his treatment at 5 am this morning. It's been kind of nice to have a little bit of quiet time to myself this morning. Brett has to put in some time at work this morning and then will be in and out the rest of the day transporting Aidan around and being here. I've been more on my own the last couple days and its been a bit lonely but I usually have some time with Brett in the afternoon and then my mom has come after work. Plus a couple friends to fill in the gaps so it hasn't been too bad.

Ethan has had some improvements and set backs the last couple days but I feel like overall he is improving. He is working so hard and is just exhausted and can't be left alone long enough to just really sleep. I've not been letting the nurses have at him this morning. Let the poor child sleep for more than a couple hours. On Tuesday, as they were preparing the room to put the feeding tube in and re-insert the i.v., he perked up and decided he wanted to eat. He ate quite a bit of spaghetti and grapes and then stayed awake for a couple hours and really played with us. It felt so good to see him smile and have some energy after watching him sleep for a day and a half prior to that. After the 2 hours he was exhausted and slept the rest of the evening and night. The good thing that did was buy us some time on the feeding tube and because the i.v. was already out (his vein tired out and pushed it out) they decided to let us see how he did without it since he had so much fluid on reserve.

Yesterday morning he woke up and was really alert and the thought occurred to me that he might be more willing to eat if he had a high chair and could do it himself. They brought one in for me and he was interested right away, sat down and ate a great breakfast and almost a whole sippy cup of chocolate milk. The doctor said his lungs had improved a lot since the day before and I was really encouraged. Then the rest of the day went up and down and while he had a good afternoon (he played, and laughed, and we even got to leave the room and go for a walk- they had a cute wagon we pulled him in), he also didn't sleep well, his lungs didn't sound good the rest of the day and his diapers started to dry up again without the iv so they had to put it in again last night. He also didn't eat again although he really liked drinking out of my mom's water bottle and we did get a few ounces of water in him. Not to mention that while he isn't on a lot of oxygen, he can't seem to get off of it. He just looked beat up by the end of the day and I hit my point. The nurse was filling me full of orange juice just trying to get me to perk up and while it tasted good, I think it mostly just got the tears flowing.

I'm just so tired of seeing him miserable and I'm so tired myself. I also haven't seen Aidan in over 2 days because Tuesday he had the stomach flu and we can't have any sick people here. Brett is going to get him today after work and bring him over to spend some time with us before he gets shipped off to the next person to watch him. He's been a good sport and has enjoyed playing with all his friends but I know he is wearing out too and just wants to be home, like the rest of us. I'm sorry to complain. When it comes down to it I just want Ethan to be healthy and feel well and all my family to be together at home. I hope that today we will see some stronger improvements now that he seems to be more willing to get up and play. I have some cute pictures but I'll have to post them later.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. I know that you are thinking of us and I appreciate your kind comments. We have such wonderful family and friends and we love you all.

Today...

It's been a hard day. Ethan's lungs are actually sounding worse and he is just not perking up. This is the second day we've had of him just sleeping all day. They are now sucking out his nose every 4 hours which is so miserable for him- they have to stick a small catheter down his nose and pull out all the gunk inside of it- it's like a small vacuum. The chest xrays this morning showed that he has a spot on his right lung that has sunk in because he can't take deep enough breaths and get up and be active. I just got off the phone with the doctor and they are going to put in a feeding tube down his nose because he hasn't eaten anything, besides small nibbles, since Friday night. He said that it's bad to put in and will bother him while in and he might try to yank it out, or will just throw up the nutrients that are fed to him. We have to try anything that will work though because until he feels better he isn't going to care enough about eating or drinking to do anything about it.

I have no idea when we're coming home at this point. I'm not quite sure where home is. Life has been so crazy with the move, Christmas, and now this that I've forgotten what a regular routine is. I know I have this house waiting for me but it just feels like somewhere I'm staying. Then I realize that I haven't thought about Aidan in a while and wonder what he is doing and if he is having a good day. It's only been a few days but its been enough for us to feel displaced from each other. I worry about him and hope that he is getting the attention he needs.

Please keep Ethan in your prayers. I know that he is just really sick and that we just have to keep pushing through while the virus runs its course. We have really felt Heavenly Father's hand in helping us to feel peace and I know that he is going to be ok. I'm so sad to see by baby hurt like this. I hope that we can see some improvement soon.